Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
