Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
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