His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
