Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
