David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize