He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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