I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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