A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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