How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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