i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Randomize
