who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize