there was a trapeze. enough said
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
