so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
