I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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