What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
