haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The air was thick with penises
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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