Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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