if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
my being single is dangerous.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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