I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
