people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
