So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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