Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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