I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
