I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Acid is not a monday night drug
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
