what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
