So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
