it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
