Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
