Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
