Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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