last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
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