So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize