whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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