Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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