college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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