ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
