absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
