i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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