This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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