Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
So squirting runs in the family.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize