What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
