Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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