You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
