Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I love you. Go after that dick
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
