So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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