I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
