He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
