i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
