His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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