im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
