so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
