Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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