It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
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