READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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