is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
