Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
