Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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