His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
