He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
